CHARACTERS
ALHAJI — A rich man in his late forties
BABA — An old man and a labourer in his early seventies
KEMI — A young lady in her mid-twenties
OKECHUKWU — A young man in his mid-twenties
SCENE:
An undemarcated compound beside an untarred street on a hot afternoon. There is litter all over the environment, and a car is parked on the road with its bonnet open. ALHAJI stands in front of the car with a phone glued to his ear. Opposite him, there are two young people, KEMI and OKECHUKWU, staring at him sparingly with a smile on their faces. They sit on a bench outside an ancient-looking house, watching the passers-by and uttering inaudibly from a distance.
ALHAJI: (Raising voice, gluing his phone to his ear tightly.) This place is only three steps away from home. Will it take a full moon for you to appear? (Pause.) Come immediately so this disgraceful piece of a vehicle can spare me the slaps. (He looks opposite him and sees two young people laughing; he gives them a stern look and shakes his head.) Can you imagine?
(ALHAJI puts his phone inside his pocket and touches some engines in his car bonnet with a frustrated look. An old man passing by with a spade and a headpan stares at him and gently walks to him.)
BABA: That car won’t work that way.
ALHAJI: My mechanic is coming to help me fix it.
BABA: You don’t need to burn your cash like someone burning calories just because of something weightless, such as this one.
ALHAJI: I said someone is coming to help me fix it.
BABA: How long have you been standing here?
ALHAJI: Not long. This car has decided to rub mud on my face again today. (Looks around him.) My headache is driving on this road. I’m always burning until I get to the main road to get some fresh air. (Restlessly checks the time on his wrist.) He should be here by now.
BABA: Did you just say that your headache is driving on this road?
ALHAJI: Driving through here is not just driving, BABA; it’s a warrior’s journey. One has to prepare the mind and body nights before starting the engine.
BABA: Not all loads are heavy for the head to carry, my son. Some are empty. (Pause.) Didn’t you say you had been standing here not long ago? But how come I have been watching you for over thirty minutes?
ALHAJI: Thirty minutes? (snaps, moves back.) Wait! Who are you and why are you monitoring me?
BABA: (Calmly.) Sometimes, we walk a thousand miles to look for things that are lying there in our pockets.
ALHAJI: Enough! Tell me, who are you, and why are you following me around before I call you a thief? People here don’t look at grey hair, old man. Before you blink, you’ll be answering questions on the other side.
BABA: Questions? Who will be asking me questions? You think an old man like me is afraid of joining my ancestors? (Smiles.) I don’t forget to give them what I need to. It’s you who should be worried about sending a soul down there when it’s not ready yet.
ALHAJI: You’re not ready to go, but you have been standing on this road for over thirty minutes. What if a vehicle runs into you? (Looks at BABA keenly.) And why are you here with me? Don’t you have anywhere to go?
BABA: This road, that road, call it whatever you want. Are they all not the same? (Pause.) I was standing there and thought I could help bring life back into your vehicle.
ALHAJI: And what do you know about cars? Look, I’m not trying to pour my boiling feelings on you. But you see, vehicles like this are not meant for every hand.
BABA: (Smiles.) Is that what your mechanic has told you?
ALHAJI: No, I know so. And why do you think you can fix my car? (Looks at the man keenly.) You don’t… Do you have a car?
BABA: You see, some bones are iron with veins (Points at his legs and moving them slightly.) But sometimes, I meet some young people like you who offer me a lift.
ALHAJI: Oh! So you’ve been lingering around so I could give you a lift? (Pause.) Yet your legs never fail you. But here you are counting seconds with the clock. What about home? Don’t you have a home?
BABA: I saw a young man standing alone and wanted to show him how to find his balance. A man of my age must not beg.
ALHAJI: But you’re still sticking around, or do you have a message for the night?
BABA: I can leave, my dear; it is you who can’t. Just look around you.
(ALHAJI looks around, his eyes meet two young people sitting on the bench, laughing. He quickly takes his eyes away.)
ALHAJI: (Facing BABA.) Look at the ground, BABA, it’s hot. I bought that car because without it, the dust will consume a man’s Riga and his skin will look like… It will look like this.
BABA: So why are you still here?
ALHAJI: (Coughs.) Well… My mechanic will be here soon, and I will be out of here.
BABA: (Chuckles.) There’s an adage of the elders that says…
ALHAJI: (Interrupts.) Can you smell that?
BABA: It’s the heat. It’s stronger during the harmattan or during rainfall, when everywhere is muddy.
ALHAJI: (He dips his hands into his pocket to pick up his phone in an angry manner.) I need to…
BABA: What are you trying to do?
ALHAJI: I need to call that mechanic boy again. How long will it take him to walk down here? (Hiss.) Is it until I bless him with some curses?
BABA: Haba! Why unsheathe a sword because it is raining?
ALHAJI: If not for him, I wouldn’t be tortured by this foul thing or see those two, clowning over there (Staring at KEMI and OKECHUKWU.), laughing at their father and not me.
BABA: (Stares at KEMI AND OKECHUKWU.) You mean those two on the bench?
ALHAJI: Yes, those ones. (Pause.) Just take a look at them, they are still laughing.
BABA: Is it your first time breaking down on this street?
ALHAJI: (Pretends not to hear BABA.) Headaches like this would have been avoided if that boy had done his job. The only thing I pay him to do. Just look at.
BABA: I can see that it is your first time. I think we should honour our bodies by keeping them away from the sun.
ALHAJI: I thought maybe you were a spirit.
BABA: Spirit?
ALHAJI: Yes. You haven’t coughed or even covered your nose once since we have been standing here.
BABA: A brave fighter does not panic because of the size of a fist. (Pause.) You see, this is the soil where we have been planted, and welcome to it.
ALHAJI: Welcome? I was born here. (Quickly holds nose.) I would have said we should enter my vehicle, but the air conditioning is dead, dead! If we can find a better spot, I think we should stay there for some time. (Pause.) Since you know this place very well, where do you think we can go?
BABA: (Points to the opposite.) There, we can sit there for a while before finding our way.
ALHAJI: You mean I should go over there and rub hands together with those ones who have been clowning all along?
BABA: Look, son, a person who is in the market must focus on who he is buying from rather than the passersby. You can still manage that place; I can’t say the same for others. Besides, you can look after your car.
ALHAJI: I hear that there is a spirit here that carries things.
BABA: Hear? Don’t you stay in this town?
ALHAJI: Well… I don’t stay on this street, and my place doesn’t upset the stomach like this place. (Pause.) Wait, do you mean that the spirit carried your car?
BABA: (Nods.) It has never returned since then.
ALHAJI: Did you try to find it? But… Why didn’t you make calls?
BABA: Calls? Here? (Sighs.) Son, I have learned. Let’s go and sit there.
(ALHAJI stares at his car with fear, but quickly takes his eyes away before BABA could notice. BABA walks gently, carrying his pan and shovel with him. He shuffles in front; ALHAJI follows him. They both cross to the other side. KEMI AND OKECHUKWU continue gisting on the bench, staring at passers-by and whispering into each other’s ears.)
ALHAJI: (Taking a glance at the place.) BABA, I thought you said this place is…
BABA: (Interrupts.) It is better than any other compound in this area. (Pause. Stares at KEMI and OKECHUKWU for a few minutes, but neither of them responds and continues gisting.) You two have eyes but can not see.
(OKECHUKWU and KEMI both leave the bench and stand beside each other. BABA sits, puts down his pan and shovel beside him, and gestures at ALHAJI to have a sit.)
ALHAJI: (Sitting and glancing around the surroundings.) Do they even try to contribute money to find a way to dispose all of these messes properly?
BABA: Money? (Pause.) Hmm…
(OKECHUKWU and KEMI both burst into laughter; ALHAJI looks at them and shakes his head.)
ALHAJI: Do you live around here, too?
BABA: (Hesitant.) My house is just a few steps away.
ALHAJI: Why not just go to your place? (Looks around disgustingly) Instead of staying here. (Pause.) Won’t your wife be waiting for you?
BABA: Some loads are better not untied, my son. (Baba places his palm on his forehead, shakes his head slowly, then removes it.)
KEMI: Should I get you something to eat?
(BABA does not answer.)
ALHAJI: (Surprised.) Do you know her?
(BABA does not answer. He holds his forehead and shakes his head slowly again, then removes it.)
KEMI: BABA comes here after work every day. His moonlight stories make this bench a haven every evening.
ALHAJI: Why is he holding his head?
KEMI: He probably needs to swallow some morsels of fufu for strength.
ALHAJI: Fufu? For strength? (Sighs.) Why not go home and find something edible for his age? (Stares at BABA) Why not go home?
KEMI: The SPIRIT (Pause.) It visited him.
(BABA removes his palm from his forehead and shakes his head.)
BABA: (Facing ALHAJI.) It strangled my wife and threw my son far deep into the ground. The spirit does not chase after you; it waits for you and crumbles you into pieces.
ALHAJI: But why didn’t you take them away? Far from here? Before the SPIRIT came?
BABA: Maybe the legs know its lines. (He looks at his legs again. This time, he does not move them.)
ALHAJI: So you sleep in a whole house alone?
BABA: My ancestors never leave me. (Checks the time.) Why not put another call through, so you don’t get to your destination late?
ALHAJI: Not like I had somewhere I needed to be, I was… actually heading home. (Pause.) Can you smell that? (He covers his nose.) This place is…
(KEMI and OKECHUKWU burst into laughter, louder now, and a little longer, so it becomes briefly unclear what they’re laughing at.)
ALHAJI: (Facing KEMI and OKECHUKWU.) What’s funny?
(OKECHUKWU does not answer and continues laughing. BABA does not flinch.)
KEMI: The way you held your nose.
(A silence.)
BABA: (Facing ALHAJI) You’re not in a hurry to see your wife? And your children? (Pause.) If only… (Sighs and stops talking.)
ALHAJI: They don’t live with me.
BABA: Where do they live?
ALHAJI: Another town, far from here. I can’t let the SPIRIT take them. I keep hearing things like that, so I drove them far away.
BABA: What about you? What if it takes you too?
ALHAJI: I have my car.
BABA: So what are you waiting for?
ALHAJI: My farm is in this town, somewhere in this street. (Covers nose.) I oversee it. I send someone to look after it for me, you know how this place is.
(OKECHUKWU bursts into laughter. KEMI joins him. The laughter is the same sound as before, but it is shorter this time.)
BABA: My son, you see…(He struggles to articulate himself, staggering on the bench.)
OKECHUKWU: (Shivering and squealing.) Help! Baba! (Staring at ALHAJI and KEMI.) What are you looking at? Carry him. Do you want to sleep in chains? (He holds BABA to prevent him from falling.) God!
(ALHAJI and KEMI hold BABA, trying to resuscitate him. BABA mutters inaudibly; KEMI laughs, watching his lips.)
ALHAJI: He seems conscious.
KEMI: He needs to take something. Like a mineral, a fruit, he needs something to boost his energy.
ALHAJI: (Stares at OKECHUKWU and KEMI.) Do you people have any money?
(OKECHUKWU and KEMI give ALHAJI a surprised look and shake their head. ALHAJI quickly dips his hands inside BABA’s pockets and pulls them out.)
ALHAJI: (Surprised.) There’s nothing there. But didn’t he just get back from work? Why are they empty?
KEMI: (Laughs briefly, then stops herself.) BABA mostly comes here for dinner.
OKECHUKWU: (Facing KEMI.) What is funny? The old man can answer to God right here, and you think we’ll be able to go here and there like it never happened?
KEMI: Should I be crying? Weeping? And mourning at everything?
(OKECHUKWU dips his hands in his pocket, finds a sweet, uses his teeth to cut it, and puts it in BABA’s mouth.)
ALHAJI: Will that thing not kill him?
OKECHUKWU: At least it will wake him first.
(BABA opens his eyes slowly, sits right, and rubs ALHAJI’s hand.)
BABA: (Barely audible.) Thanks to the ancestors for having my back. I nearly crossed the passage between heaven and…
KEMI: (Interrupts, laughing, but the laughter sounds like it surprised her too.) We saved you, BABA. You should be thanking us.
ALHAJI: I was very scared. I thought you were going to cross over. (He covers his nose.) This is even enough to make one pass out.
(OKECHUKWU bursts into laughter, KEMI joins him.)
BABA: My son… You should go now.
(ALHAJI pretends not to hear what BABA had just said.)
ALHAJI: (Facing KEMI.) Please get him something to eat. (KEMI Exits. ALHAJI pauses, glances at the environment, and adjusts on the bench.) Why does it smell very bad?
OKECHUKWU: (Laughs, facing ALHAJI.) Your nose should have built immunity from passing here daily.
ALHAJI: (Trying to force words out of his mouth.) What warrants the… (He stops and shakes his head.) I do not blame you.
OKECHUKWU: Who do you blame? (Laughs.) Who? Tell me.
BABA: Children, there’s an elder in your presence.
(There’s silence. KEMI returns with a plate of food and gives it to BABA.)
BABA: (Receiving a plate from KEMI.) Thank you, my daughter. (Facing ALHAJI.) My son, come and eat.
ALHAJI: How does one even eat here?
BABA: Who knows?
ALHAJI: And maybe we can know, BABA. How do you hold your stomach captive from turning against you?
BABA: I don’t know
ALHAJI: Honestly, (Glances around.) the look alone is enough to torture the stomach. Not to mention what is burning through the nose.
BABA: My Son, you sit long enough somewhere, the body stops asking you.
(OKECHUKWU and KEMI burst into laughter.)
ALHAJI: (Facing OKECHUKWU.) Do you try to sweep this place? It looks like it has not been swept in years.
(OKECHUKWU does not answer. He looks at BABA’s mouth as he swallows the food hastily. He bursts into laughter; KEMI joins him, and the laughter becomes louder.)
Lights out.
****
Photo: Logan Voss Unsplash modified