Expired

I tried to love myself
through hip hop
and BET
and Halle Berry
I saw news flashes of
Blackness and darkness
and WACKNESS
I spelled Africa with
a K
all the while thinking that
my dreds would show them
how beautyful i really was
singing redemption songs
buying jill scot and
Lauryn thinking they
could validate my existence
I sought outside looking
in the eyes of those who
feared me, hated me, those who
despised me
for exceptence and congratulations
I never thought about letting them go
letting the poster images of dark girls
in the white girls bodies with the flat asses and the deprived physic go
and the black men with Puerta Rican hotties, thinking they were one upping on the sisters
and the white girls cuz they got a mixture,
fly by
and the 300 pound dark sister in the kitchen
loving somebody
always loving some one else part with me
I never thought that it was all a mass
conspiracy
that even my sisters and brothers
were in on it
That my whole family was caught up on the hype
on the fantasy that i didn't exist.

African

She was beauty
with
African characteristics
long neck
etched out bone structure
elegant stature
heavy dark lashes...
standing in the corner,
i told her that she looked
African
like a queen or an eminent ruler
she thanked me
all the while looking
shocked
like no one had ever told her
before
she looked African an
unadulterated unequivocal beauty.

Connecting

Lets get together
dust amber ashes
from our minds
and
just
C-O-N-N-E-C-T
without clinging
expectations and
social moors
lets embarrass amber sunsets
that roll off the sapphire hills
without
contest
protest
I profess that
this
is
glorious that
this
is
prosperous that
this
is
bodacious
love made us
so lets not wait any longer
to just
sit
talk
and
C-O-N-N-E-C-T.

Obsessing

Its an obsession this pain
i have for you
This rhythm in my mind
as the chirping of crickets
dispensed
distraught
deluded
in the night
Its an obsession the ways
my mind produce means of thinking
of you
the way my eyes seem to have countless
stored images of you on me
of me on you
It breaths separate
this rage in my heart
as if life couldn't ever matter
as you do to me
you're the only constant in my life
waking is unto you
sleeping is dreams of you
living is thoughts on you
Its an obsession
this feeling
this heart stem
this mood

Lullaby

Downstairs upon a golden silhouette
lays the corners of peace like destruction
upheld by the breath of diamond salvation
embedded in clusters of warmth
I sit
not thinking that the sea is against me
or the wreath of life will choke my dream
i play in the sinew of depression
hung over a ruby stream
my heart
repeats the song of sand like pastures
revived by the winds i sip
my mind derived from cognitive grinders
Her voice delivers hope to me

Strutting

Emulating a love that isn't
and couldn't be where you are
stuffing the air with my ass
as i strut, to keep it clear
love isn't here...