"Benji, your wife don complain too much, she say you no dey laugh again, you no dey play with your children again. Wetin be the problem. Tell me, ah fit help o!"

"Yinka na you be ma best friend and ah trust you but the problem be say, no ear fit hear dis story. Forgive me e day too bad."

"Look, Benji, na im make me dey worry you, I wan hear am, nothing wey ear never hear before!"

"No Yinka, ah no fit."

"Benji, if you keep dis problem for mind e fit kill you. Tell me make ah see as we go take do am."

Benji told his story.

* * *

It was a very quiet night, the only noise was that of passing cars. Inside a tinker shed by the Ishagbo highway, the policemen on duty-Gana, Ade, and Bengi-passed the time by playing draught. They were oblivious to the passing cars.

"Gana, make you remove hand if you no sabi wetin to play!" Ade hissed, as Gana spent about five minutes deciding on which seed to play. Gana dragged on his cigarette and ignored him.

Benji got up. "I don tire," he said. "Make I go piss for yonder."

Gana packed up the game, stretched himself and yawned. "I swear, if no be say dis our new Oga dey do inspection for night, I no for dey come. Ma next life, I no go do police work, na suffer-suffer."

"No bi lie you talk," Ade retorted. "Man picken jus dey here for mosquitoes and tiffs. How much dey get sel?" he asked, putting his hands in his trouser pockets, and bringing out wads of notes. "Only hundred and two naira. How much you get?" he asked Gana.

"I never count am, make I check," he searched first in both shirt pockets, then in his trouser pockets. He pulled out the money all crumpled. He straightened them one after the other, then countered them. "You dey complain, I get only eighty-two naira, twenty kobo."

"How twenty kobo enter am?" Ade asked.

"How twenty kobo no go enter am? I dey collect money from anybody wey carry load, wetin be load, any kin human being wey pass here."

Benji came in zipping up his trousers and laughing. "E-e-eh?" so you follow, Gana? I remember one thing now." He told the story of his neighbor's child who lost his ground nuts to one of the policemen, the little boy had spat on the offending policeman's face but the policeman gave him such a baton whack on his head, he forgot all about school, and returned home crying.

Gana sensed that the story was aimed at mocking him. He hissed and told them that as far as he was concerned, "Police work, na survival of the feastest, if man no feast for small, small things, man no fit survive!"

"Illiterate man, na survival of the fittest, no bi feastest," Ade said, amidst chuckles.

"Anyway," Ade continued, "Wetin I go take dis money do?" He started to count off what he would spend the money on: fifty naira for his little girl's school fees, twenty naira for a brothel and the rest on drinks."

"Why you wan spend twenty naira for woman?" Jus give me ten naira and I go give you woman."